You’re exhausted by the fact that you spend so much time trying to help your child.
All of your effort goes toward navigating their out-of-control emotions like anger &/or anxiety and very little goes to actually connecting with and enjoying them. And it’s heartbreaking to think about how strained your relationship is.
It’s as if every day is a roller coaster and you’re starting to wonder if your family is ever going to be able to have a happy life. You’ve reached a point where you long for bedtime, just to go to sleep, wake up, and start worrying about your child all over again.
Before you had kids, you imagined what your family life would look like. You pictured yourself taking trips, exploring and genuinely enjoying your time together. But all of your visions changed when your child couldn’t seem to handle everyday moments. Vacations turned into violent outbursts and trips to the store turned into tantrums. So, now you’re just trying to make it through the day without feeling like a total failure as a parent.
You can’t see the good in your life without focusing on what’s going wrong and some days you can’t even motivate your child to leave the house without melting down. Of course, you know that every child has good days and bad, but the outright anger and anxiety your child displays are far beyond what you feel like is “normal”.
You are yearning to be a better parent and for family life to feel more positive.
When you look at your family today, you hardly recognize who you’ve become. You’re not the parent you wanted to be. You and your child have very few moments of positive interaction. It’s difficult to enjoy spending time together, and you’re pretty sure the feeling is mutual.
You judge yourself. You’ve got so much on your plate that you can never stop long enough to really try to work through the behavior issues. And this realization makes you feel completely lost and like a terrible parent. As if you’re never going to find a way to help your child learn to manage their emotions and develop tools to help in those difficult moments.
Well, we’re here to tell you, you’re not alone. Being completely overrun by your child’s emotions does not make you a terrible parent. You’re not the only one to feel like the life you knew is gone now that you have a child who is struggling. It is possible to determine exactly what’s behind the behavior issues and understand your child’s core needs.
Hi, we’re Brittani Persha Counseling and there’s something we’re positive about!
ALL Behavior is a form of communication and ALL discipline moments are teachable moments.
Your child is not supposed to have life all figured out. Their young brain is growing and changing every day. They are not developmentally capable of understanding how complex handling their emotions can be. As they learn and grow, coping can be quite the challenge. Treating their unwanted behaviors as problems to get rid of, rather than taking the time to understand their true meaning, is keeping your family from moving forward in a happy, healthy way.
But simply trying to support your child in getting along with their peers seems like the right answer because every meltdown, tantrum, and shut down keeps your family from living an easy, content life.
This doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy your time as a family. It simply means you might need a little help to recognize how these individual incidents fit into the larger picture of your child’s troubles.
Often, when you’re continually battling with your child’s every action, you can miss the bigger picture of what their play and behaviors are trying to tell you. So much so, that you forget to look at your child as a young person in need of love and guidance.
The truth is, all discipline moments are teaching moments. And it’s easy to get caught up in the stress of it all and lose sight that you are your child’s compass in life. Although you’ve had to sacrifice a lot because your child is struggling, you do not have to feel so distant and disconnected from what’s hurting them. Instead, we can help to meet them where they are at.
We treat your whole family and you are treated like family.
Perhaps your child seems to withdraw from situations that other children love. They shy away in groups and refuse to get ready for school in the morning. Every time you try something new they hardly leave your side. You’ve tried to ease gently into unfamiliar circumstances. And you’ve also tried a more sink or swim approach. Neither has worked. You so desperately want to be able to look to the future and see a happy, well-adjusted kid, but you have no idea how to help them put their intense worry aside. That’s ok. By scheduling a child therapy session with us, you will give your child a safe place to explore their feelings and actions.
Or maybe you’ve withdrawn your family from activities because you just can’t count on your child to behave in public. Heck, your child doesn’t even behave at home. You’d like to confidently participate in an active lifestyle, but you can’t interact with others without fear of your child acting out. You’re looking for someone who can help you understand why your child’s behavior is so out of control and what exactly their actions are trying to communicate. When you schedule behavioral counseling with us, you will help your child learn to understand and respond to difficult emotions so that they are less likely to take them out on the outside world.
It’s possible you’ve been able to anticipate when your child is going to struggle with their big emotions, but the two of you still don’t have a very close relationship. You’re tiptoeing around them for fear of setting them off and it’s like you make more of an effort to avoid bad times than to create good ones. You know you need to find ways to better recognize the cues prior to a meltdown and to have the tools necessary to address your child’s needs. You need to find a way to bond and express unconditional love. When you schedule parenting services with us, you will have a firmer grasp on how to guide your child according to their developmental age and needs as well as how to tune in and show up for them as a source of loving support.
At BPC we believe that more connected relationship with your child comes when you can tune in to their needs and understand exactly what their unwanted behaviors are trying to tell you.
You’re ready to build a bond with your child that is going to help them through their struggles and act as a foundation for their success in the world.
For more information about each of our therapist please click on their profiles below.
Brittani L. Persha, LCSW-S, EMDR Trained
Specialties: Children (ages 2-12), Play Therapy, EMDR,
Parent-Child Relationships & Parenting Support, Behavioral Issues,
ADHD, Anxiety, Trauma/PTSD w/ Children & Adults
Rodrigo Cañedo, LMSW
Specialities: Bilingual Therapist, Children, Adolescents and Adults,
Grief and Loss, Trauma, Family Violence, Relationship Problems,
Anxiety, Self Esteem, Play Therapy
Melanie Phillips, LCSW
Specialities: Children, Adolescents and Families,
Behavioral Issues, Trauma, Depression, Anxiety,
Sand Tray Therapy, Play Therapy, Group Counseling
Corey Dossey, LPC-Intern
Specialities: Young Children (2-12 yrs), Adult Counseling, Child Centered Play Therapy,
Behavioral Problems, Trauma, Seperation Anxiety, Relationship Counseling